A friend recently announced that he and his wife have bought a house. Not a townhouse – a house. A house, not on the outskirts of the city, but a house in a nice suburb.
I must admit to feeling a tad jealous. My friend has been very successful in business. Whilst I know he works hard, I know a lot of people who work just as hard but haven’t received the same level of reward.
In fact, I think most people would be envious of my friend. He was even embarrassed to tell people that he and his wife had bought a house.
I want a house and I will be happy when I get it
Most people want a house to live in, however with property prices being so expensive, most people need to start with an apartment.
A trap to fall into (and it is so easy to do) is to say – I would be happy if I had a house. Or even to say, I would be happy if I lived in Bondi (or whatever the suburb is).
Don’t forget the mortgage
My friend is happy, but not as happy as he thought he would be.
He is anxious about the mortgage. Borrowing a large amount of money means a very large payment is required at the end of each month. My friend’s business is project-based, so there is no guarantee it will continue to be as lucrative as it has been in recent times.
If you rely on “I will be happy when…” there is always a large risk of being disappointed on multiple levels. Humans are always striving for something, but when we get it, it often doesn’t feel as good as we thought it would.
Social media doesn’t always help either. It is easy to compare your life to others. They seem to be having the best time – going on holidays, getting spoiled by their partner, getting engaged/married, having children. But a lot of us only share on social media when something memorable happens! Let’s be honest – the Facebook me lives a more perfect life than the real me.
Remember that “I will be happy when…” usually doesn’t work. Waiting for happiness means that you often forget that:
- a dream house can come with a nightmare mortgage
- being in a relationship has bad times as well as good
- getting married means planning a wedding!
Try to remember that you will always want something more than you have and try to appreciate the things that you do have. I find that things that are free (such as a smile, friends, the sky and clean tap water) are a good place to start. Then simple pleasures (that early morning coffee or late night chocolate) might help us to realise that we have a lot to be grateful for.